Guy Series / Love / Relationships / Tough Love

Tough Love with Kiki


My Lovelies, How has the week been?


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Names Changed for Privacy.

Where do I go from here?

We had these family friends and I never really saw the need to be friends with their kids because oh well the relationships was with our parents and I felt it should stay that way. They put us in the same school for as long as I can remember but we never really spoke or had any conversations. It was just unnecessary.

 Not until the day I was walking down the hallway and Tunde came and tapped me on my shoulder. I was agitated and mildly irritated. I thought he understood- stay in your lane and I’d stay in mine. He leaned in and whispered in my ear that I was stained. I turned red. I was so embarrassed. I was literally speechless for a while. He took off his cardigan and handed it over to me. Immediately, I grabbed it and tied it around my waist. I thanked him and started walking away with what was left of my pride. I noticed he didn’t leave, he was following right behind me and offered to walk me to my hostel.

On our walk back to the hostel, he tried to start a little chit chat with me but it remained in my heart forever awkward. From that day, that’s how we started talking and eventually, we became friends and I found out that we actually had a lot in common.

We started attending prep together and during the holidays, we would actually visit each other. We became closer than I ever imagined and in fact by JS 2, we were best friends. In SS 1, Tunde stole a kiss and I don’t think I ever saw him as just a friend again. That was my first kiss and that is so not how I expected it to go.

In SS 2, we started dating. It never felt weird between us because we knew each other so well. During the summer of that year, while I was at his house, we overheard his parents talking about sending him to India to study medicine. Not that I didn’t wish him well but I was going to stay in Nigeria because I wanted to study law. I was so sad because I knew it meant we would not be together after grad.

When I was crying, he promised that we would make it work somehow but I knew it wouldn’t work out because long distance relationships never work out. He told me I was his soul mate and he would never leave me, that we were in love and he would try to change his parent’s mind. All that I could hear was that he just said he loved me. I was over the moon.

We ended up going to the same university, he ended up studying Engineering. I knew he was settling because of me although he never admitted to it. That made me love him more. Before you knew it, everybody on campus knew about us. All those useless girls tried to take him away from me but they failed. Valentines day every year was so special. Tunde would come to my hall and page my name, then I would come him to collect my gifts. Everyone looked forward to what I would get each year. He always brought his A game.

In 2015, heads turned. Tunde gave me a promise ring. He called it a symbol of our undying love. Every girl in school was jealous. We were literally the topic of discussion in every room. I knew at this point that this was the guy I would spend the rest of my life with. I was sure and ready to give him my virginity. I wore my ring everywhere just to show off. It was amazing. The struggle for marriage definitely wasn’t for me o, I had already found my soul mate.

We had already made plans to travel to Ibiza after grad and spend time together. So now, on graduation day, see me thinking I was graduating with my future husband, it was too funny when Tunde walked up to me and said it was nice knowing me. Me to Dopemu, I really said that he had been an amazing part of my life.

I was really expecting some sort of romantic kiss or display of affection. But Tunde just stared at me and said that I deserved better.  I was still smiling like a big fool, telling him that I didn’t mind and I could manage. Tunde wished me a good life and walked away.

And everything went blank.  

So what do I do now?



Wow, this beats my imagination.

I think you’re a strong woman for not trying to commit suicide as an escape. 🙂  It is unthinkable that after knowing each other all your lives, he could be this callous. I do not want to judge because I know not his perspective but from what I see here, (deep breath)

If you have to beg for love, it’s not worth it. You are a beautiful, intelligent lady and deserve to be treated as such. Any man who would do this to you without justification is undeserving of you. Tell yourself, God made you dodge a major missile. HE has better plans for you. 🙂

Take your mind off this somehow, anyhow you can.  Take a vacation, start a new hobby, spoil yourself and cry it all out. Don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re over doing it. Take all the time you need to heal. But don’t and I repeat do not throw away all your dr4eams and aspirations. Tell yourself that this is a minor setback. I know of instances where people have killed themselves after getting dumped or broken up with. Some a couple of months, some, a couple of years. This is not the first case of such heart-breaking incidence. It would definitely not be the last. I beg you to be an example to those who have heartbreaks they are yet to suffer.

Do not lose track of your goals, time waits for no one.

I think I’m going to cry.


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